When Nothing Else Works, Try Ketamine for Depression

I wish I had known about ketamine for depression a long time ago.  

Depression kills. We are living alone and in pain even if in treatment with a therapist or psychiatrist, or are taking medications. Even if cared for and loved by family members and friends. The sense of devastation and loneliness is pervasive. Nothing can make it better, not petting the dog nor going for a walk in the sunshine. We get better for a period of time but then the pain resurfaces, causing us to isolate. Everything feels awful. Small tasks are insurmountable. Many people have trouble getting dressed or bathing. No matter what anyone says or does, it does not ease the pain. The depression wins every time. Not that long ago I googled “how to kill myself” and the first site that comes up is hosted by a man who tried to kill himself 8 times. He says that only 15% of women who try to take their lives are successful and 20% of men are able to. (STATSSS)

Treatment-Resistant Depression haunts many here in the U.S. and worldwide. SSRIs and SSNIs are only 30% effective and the rest of us get better temporarily or not at all. We have exhausted the medications in the psychopharmacology and seek new solutions. Finally there are some.

There are other treatments besides SSRIs, SSNI, and older school meds like MAOi, Lithium and tricyclics. One is TMS Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Another is ECT (electro shock therapy.) I have read and heard personal testimony that they are effective. Most recently I embarked on ketamine for depression treatments with a psychiatrist. I was beside myself with time passing without effect from meds I was taking, one layered on top of another. I have taken at one time or in combination Wellbutrin, Trazodone, Zoloft, Lexapro, Remiron, Lithium, Lamictal, Effexor, and Ativan. Advocating for myself was herculean but I managed to make an inquiry to a psychiatrist who treats patients one-on-one with in-office injections of Ketamine. I spoke with him on the phone, got scheduled to do an intake session then my first ketamine appointment a few days later.

I arrived for my 9am appointment on less caffeine than usual, as instructed. We had a chat for many 30 minutes about how I was feeling and what to expect from the ketamine injections. I laid down on his couch and he covered me with a weighted blanket. I wore an eye mask and headphones. The music began and I started to do slow breathing, focusing on the exhale. The doctor injected me with ketamine into my arm and within 5 minutes I began to get fuzzy. Afterwards I felt as if I were riding around in tunnels made out of grids. He gave me a second injection and I witnessed more psychedelic sights and sensations. I saw Jon Snow from Game of Thrones inside a dragon’s head. From this experience I mostly felt like I was getting well and had made the right decision. I felt supported by my new doctor. Finally, it wound down and I remained lying down and with the eye mask, a little later I was able to sit up. I absolutely loved it. During my youth, I missed psychedelic experiences almost entirely. I had tried it once at Dead Concert in the 80s. I didn’t like it and never did it again. I read Michael Pollan’s book How to Change Your Mind about working with psychedelics for many mental health issues. I was intrigued but it didn’t seem like it was for me. Suddenly, it’s all I think about. Ketamine and how it might help a lot more people than me. Cary Grant took LSD, other Hollywood folks, too.

Treatment Resistant Depressives: Change your mind.